Written by Joe Tetreault | 22 March 2011

NEWS YOU CAN USE: Ramen, is there nothing it can't do?

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Written by Joe Tetreault | 28 December 2010

HEH. "What's that going to look and smell like the next day?" no comments

Written by Joe Tetreault | 28 December 2010

A QUESTION OF TASTE: Joe Pawlikowski acquiring a taste for grapefruit juice so you don't have to..

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Written by Joe Tetreault | 22 January 2010

gob-bluthSo finally I get my AB back. After three weeks of blacked out Food Network, the suits at Scripps and Cablevision realized they had made a huge mistake. And a huge mistake it is. Number one, when fans of the food network find themselves forgoing the fine programs of epicurean delight, they are apt to explore alternate outlets for edible edification. And trust me there are alternatives out there. What surprises me is that as yet, the geniuses at Scripps have not insured that a cable company cannot lock them out of a market by offering subscriptions to popular programs via outlets like iTunes, you know a full season of some programs for a low rate.

But thankfully the Food Network has returned, triumphantly. For me it means more quality time with Klaus.

$39.99? Whoa, that's a bargain.

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Written by Joe Tetreault | 29 November 2009

Thanksgiving proper found myself, and the Brains of the Operation (Mrs. Tetreaultvision) visiting my Godfather, who made me an offer I neither could, nor would, refuse.  Come to our place for Thanksgiving, enjoy the meal, we'll do the dishes.  Those are my three specialties, eating, enjoying and being lazy.  But returning home from the brief journey and still craving the ultimate in holiday benevolence - a home scented by a roasted turkey - we prepared our own Thanksgiving celebration on Friday.

One of the recipes we selected for our bountiful feast came direct from the doyenne of dishes guaranteed to deliver myocardial infarctions faster than you can say, how much butter is in it?  Yes, the one and only Paule Paula Deen*. Since Deen Cuisine is heavy on the buttery goodness that contributes to the mysterious taste sensation called umami, and because the recipe we chose was a variation on mashed taters, and you cannot screw up mashed taters by loading on the butter, I figured what could go wrong.

In a word: everything.

First let's look at the recipe:
6 large red new potatoes, skin on (I used 9 medium yukon golds)
2 large turnips peeled
1/2 cup of cream heated
1 stick of butter melted
1/2 cup sour cream
salt and pepper to taste

The instructions called for slicing the turnips and potatoes to the same size and boiling them together for 15 minutes.  My first mistake was boiling the turnips and potatoes together.  Sliced to the same size, turnips take a bit longer than potatoes.  I sliced the potatoes into bigger pieces than the turnips, and the turnips still were undercooked following the time in the water.  Then into our stand mixer, which was filled pretty well just by the mixed root vegetables.  Using the whisk tool was ineffective, so I switched to the paddle.  Gradually a mash formed.  In goes the butter and the heated and sour creams.  Salt and pepper join the party and they go for another spin in the mixer.  The result is a soupy mess with large chunks of under-cooked turnips.  And the taste, too heavy, by far.  Too much turnip flavor as well.

Heavy is not necessarily a bad thing.  Comfort food is meant to be heavy and touch on buttery, cheesy flavors that strain our belts and make the managers of gyms and health clubs see visions of dollar signs dance through their heads.  A better executed comfort food potato mash comes from the wizard of bam, Emeril Lagasse.

10 large russet baking potatoes
8 tablespoons (1 stick) plus 1 tablespoon unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 teaspoons freshly ground black pepper
3/4 pound bacon, cooked until crisp and crumbled
1/2 pound sharp white Cheddar, cut into 1/2-inch cubes
3/4 pound mild Cheddar, grated (3 cups)
1/2 cup finely chopped green onions
3 eggs, lightly beaten

First off, yes, this is a coronary on a plate.  And yes, this is enough to serve a small army.  They will ask for seconds.  Best served with turkey, the lightest of all the meat options out there, it complements the bird adding a punch of savory flavor that will help you settle in on the couch and be dozing in no time.

*UPDATE: Me fail English, that's unpossible.

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